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Seven days ago, I decided I wanted to take a green bath. That's when it hit me. What if I could grow an entire ecosystem in my bathroom? Clearly, it was just a blank canvas. This is how I pee, like that. And suddenly, my plan was set. The tub was first. I marched over like I was about to frost a green cake. First few smears were chaotic, not gonna lie. But when it looked like this, I knew I needed to do the sink too. And at some point, I blacked out and I knew I couldn't have the tub and the sink and not have the toilet. So I covered the entire bathroom in chia. There was a moment somewhere around the faucet when I paused and thought, should I keep going? But I told myself, focus, let it speak. And suddenly, I found myself misting it morning, noon, and night for seven days. I wasn't sure what would happen, but it actually started to grow. I began to watch it slowly come to life. And when it started to look more green, I knew I couldn't stop there. I covered a 3D printed Shrek headband with chia and a set of fake nails. And at this point, I was a commit to the bit, girly. I was hoping it would all grow simultaneously and be ready at the exact same time. And luckily, before I knew it, my bathroom grew into this. And so I put the ears on, I stuck the nails on, and I got ready. For in this moment, it was my time to shine. And now, it's safe to say that I'm the proud owner of the world's first fully functioning chia spa, Shrek crown, chia claws, and all. And now we all know what magical transformations can happen in seven days, because now it's time for me to take my green back. Some privacy, please.