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Hi there, I'm Noah. I'm a detransition male. I was on estrogen for four and a half years. I started transitioning at 18 and then I detransitioned about six months ago. Today I want to talk about transition regret. So some people detransition and they don't actually regret transitioning in the first place. They see it as like part of their journey. Maybe they like the lingering effects of exogenous hormones. That's not me. Okay. I view transitioning as the single worst mistake I've made in my life. It had immediate negative consequences with my family because they could just like not wrap their hat around my desire to transition. I wanted them to use this new name and pronouns like pretty immediately. They did not want to do that because they did not want to like affirm this identity that they were hoping I would like come to my senses. I did not. I ignored them. But yeah, it drove this huge wedge between us and that was really hard for me because I was close to my parents. I'm still close to my parents. Yeah, I went into my freshman year of college during COVID and this was all like the first year of my transition. And I had a really hard time making connections like on campus or like with anyone just because like I was a very non-passing trans woman. And honestly, I was never very good at like cohering to gendered expectations of women. So I don't know. I don't think people took me very seriously outside of like these, you know, very trans affir ming like social groups. Also, like having a trans identity, constantly worrying about passing, about being misgendered, that kind of thing. It made me like incredibly neurotic and I'm already like a neurotic person. So yeah, this is not even to mention like the physical effects. If it was just like I'd gone socially transitioned, I would feel like a lot better about it. But no, I had facial feminization surgery. So I do miss like my strong brow bone. I don't like looking a little more androgynous like I do now. But the biggest negative effects have been the lingering effects of estrogen. I have some gynecomastia, which is, you know, really not like too bad, as you can see. Like my thighs are a little bit thicker than the average guys. But the annoying stuff is like below the waist. You can Google the effects of estrogen on the male body if you'd like to. I'll be vague. Things like still work after being off estrogen. I have normal T levels, but my libido is kind of low. Function is like 50% of what it was pre-transition and my fertility is up in the air, which sucks, but it is what it is. Yeah, when I was identifying as a woman, like estrogen actually did like affirm my identity and made me feel good. But now that I'm living as a man again and not really identifying as one, but viewing myself as a man, it like it horrifies me a little bit that I like put myself through chemical castration. But again, it is what it is. So yeah, I don't consider my transition to be part of some like wonderful journey. I feel physically and mentally stunted. I feel like a tree.