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I'm about to rent an old man. Japan being Japan, it wasn't entirely surprising to find that old people are available for rent. The website for this is called Osan Rental. Osan means old man. You can choose a normal old man, a kind old man, a cultural old man, or even a small snuggly old man. I wasn't sure what kind of old man I wanted, but I knew I didn't want the snuggly one. So I added a few of them to my cart. I wasn't expecting a response, as I personally would not respond to an email from a stranger asking to rent me. But one of them did respond. I was a little thrown off when I met Sakurai, because despite being 58 years old, he looked much younger. He'd made a good living and retired early, then spent his free time playing tennis and cooking elaborate meals for his family. But he found himself looking for something more, so he put himself on the market. Now people hire him to play sports, go to movies, and shop with him. Sometimes they take him drinking or on long drives, but never at the same time. He's not available for illegal or evasive actions. I asked him how I can make friends in Japan. He suggested I learn the language. But what I discovered today is that there's another easier way to make friends. Renting an old man.