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I never thought I'd see the day when cigarettes cost more than one handjob. Why the sudden spike now? Well, most analysts are tracing it back to the Brothers P ius' pop-off at San Quentin Friday. The lockdown that resulted there cut cigarette imports up to 66% across the West Coast system. That's a much steeper drop-off than anyone's coming. Oh, you better believe it. But of course, we shouldn't discount the recent influx of punks at Chino. According to reports, more than 80% of these fish were greeners, willing to give two handjobs and a stick of beef jerky for a pack of Rollies. And their exuberance is what's causing the increases we're seeing in so many other sectors today, from baby oil to tracers to chest that's car from bars and soap. Yes, absolutely. Look, the prison economy runs on cigarettes. They're involved in every economic transaction at some stage, from contract killings to naked woman picture acquisition. That's why we've got shampoo at six batteries. We've got tattoos at 50 commissary stamps, slocks at a stick and a muff bag. That's incredible. Yes. How nervous are investors at this point? Well, it's hard to tell since most of them have trained themselves to never show fear. Of course. But clearly, there were a lot of jitters across the market this morning after reports came that the impending Chiva deal between Rico Perez and Bones Gorman was called off after a pigeon told Hax to put bones on shit watch. Now, for what it's really like out there in the market, let's check in with major cigarette trader Big Dap Ramirez. Big Dap, nice to see you again. Thanks, Rick. Good to see you. What's happening, Hal? How's it going, Big Dap? Now, it's obviously a boom time for cigarettes right now. I'm getting a lot of hand jobs. to a single-man job or less.