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This is what Europeans think America is like. I wake up at 8 a.m. to the sound of gunshots and violence. Then after that, I have breakfast. An 18-piece fried chicken bucket with a 2-liter bottle of Coke. Then at 9 a.m., I start my daily commute from Los Angeles, California to New York City. Along the way, I drive through intense poverty and homelessness. I will do nothing about it. At 10 a.m., I arrive in New York City. I talk loudly about how great America is. At 11 o'clock, I decide to head down to Miami. At 11.45, I arrive in Miami. This is where I get my tan. After that, I head back to Los Angeles. It's awesome that I'm able to visit all three American cities in one day. Around 1 p.m., I go out to eat for lunch. I leave the waiter a large cash tip of $100. At 1.30 p.m., I publicly lean against the wall to rest. Around 3.30 p.m., there's another shooting. At 6 p.m., I have dinner. An entire apple pie that I wash down with a 2-liter of Coca -Cola. Then at 9 p.m., there's an alien invasion. This seems to only happen to the important countries. And that's my day.